Friday, April 30, 2010

Day 120

This day was supposed to be about people, but in the long run I think it was about birds, or maybe birds and bees.

So for today I am grateful for
peaceful gardens
terrific applesauce
my personal strength.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Day 119: Annie Quest's Birthday

I am grateful for long term friends and their b'days.
I am grateful for relief.
I am grateful for and easier day.
I am grateful for sirloin.
I am grateful for a beautiful spring day and my camera by my side.

I am tired and I had a lovely day of photo shooting, so I'll just post some pictures.
First, let it be known that today is Annie's b'day and it is one day of many I get to scream across the land that I love her so. She is my buddy. Annie and I have been friend for over 40 years, for over 45 years............ It makes me very happy.
Check out The Annies website, google The Annies. You'll laugh. It'll make you feel good. Try it.

YUP, it's a beautiful world today.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Day 118

A couple of days ago I was walking the backyard and in the woodsy part that I don't even know who owns, back behind those pretty little birch, was a single yellow tulip. I picked it. I put it in a vase on the kitchen window. This morning it was opened up and so pretty.

I had to leave early because I had to bring Edite to Northampton. I walked out of the house and a jay flew by me and landed across the street. I took a few shots as I was walking towards him and just when I was close enough to get a real shot an old rumbly truck came by and scared him away. I was so mad.

cool, hunh?

The day was long. I helped to organize an event at the college for admissions. The turn out wasn't as good as I would have liked, but it was a start. I didn't get out of work until late. When I drove in the driveway I was Ms. Rabbit over by the swing munching on some new grasses, she let me get pretty close before she ran away. I think she knows I won't harm her.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Day 117

I feel a lot better tonight. I don't know why, I think it's just 24 hours of routine, it helps. Anyway, I've been thinking about different ways I can share my 365 Day project. I think there is a possible self published book, and maybe a slide show of some sort. The Coop has asked me to do a show of my kids of the coop pictures, and I was thinking I could do a neighborhood party slide show of all of the pictures I've taken just here.

Is it possible that it is snowing out there? No, but it did snow in Burlington today and it is cold and the clouds that poured in were really threatening.

There was even a rainbow tonight. I took my sandwich over to the college and watched the clouds roll in. The contrasts between the flowering trees, the new buds and the dark clouds were wonderful. Yeah, I'm going to find different ways to share this project...

Meanwhile, today, let it be known that I am grateful for;
chickens and girls that play,
the color purple of lilac trees.
the smell of my backyard today
the glorious fact that my mother still wants to be here with us
community, forever.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Day 116

I feel better tonight even though I may be out of fuel. I live such an odd life, really I do. Anyway, I woke up at 4:30 this morning feeling like I'd never be competent again. I still feel like that, but I'm thinking I maybe it's not as important as all that. Or maybe it's the whole grief process thing, it makes me think I'm incompetent, why do I jump from "I don't want to loose this person." to "I suck at everything." Ahh one's own personal neurosis are so interesting, well maybe not. Anyway, i was told not to worry about being overly competent at work for a while and to do what I needed to do to take care of myself and my love ones. Pretty important message to be given by one's bosses.

Emma's home. YAYAYAYAY She brought me a present.

Isn't it great? They went sand dollar searching. I was so pleased. I love sand dollars, they are so wonderful.

Yup, she's home and she makes me smile.

Mom is being moved tomorrow. She is doing well according to Geoff.
YUP, life feels a little calmer tonight. I'm going to sleep better.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Day 115

Those cats played big time all night long. They came around a little when I brought my cup of tea and the crossword puzzle to Mom's place at the table. They both jumped onto the table to get pet. YUP!!!! They are wonderful boys.

I find hospitals to be fascinating places to watch people. I have spent a lot of time in them and I am kind of intrigued. This morning while I waited for the nurse to get Mom out of bed I sat with a man in the lounge who spoke some English and was very sweet. There was a beautiful fish tank and he knew nothing about fish and asked me names and tried to say stuff to me. He had a wonderful smile, was exhausted and apologized for snoring. He was a great representative of humankind.

I stayed with Mom until 1, I knew other family members were on their way and I was afraid of falling asleep at the wheel if I waited too long. Mom was in terrific humor and she actually stood for 20 seconds or so. Her color was back and she was completely with it. I want to just stay with her for the next 6 weeks, but I can't, unfortunately. I walked the skywalk back to my car and there were Christina and Giraffe waiting for me. I've been carrying Emma's giraffes around in the car for weeks now, and I actually love having them to greet me.

I was right about being tired. I stopped in Windsor Lockes and took pictures of old buildings and had a half a sub. The rain stopped by Holyoke and it was so wonderful to see those hills. I came in and fell asleep for 2 hours.

I'm home. I'm safe. I'm pretty concrete. Tomorrow I have to figure out my schedule for I need to be as flexible as I can be. I hope they move Mom out of the hospital tomorrow and temporarily into a rehab. But I want to be able to go when i need to go. Meanwhile, I picked some quince and put it in a vase, fed the fish, watered the plants and caught up with my photos.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Day 114

I'm off to Connecticut. I will be in no Internet land for a while, so I am bringing a journal with me and I'll write. How's that for a new idea?

I forgot how I started this this morning, so I’m going to have to just pick up from here, from nowhere or from the middle of my mother’s living room with the boys. They clearly miss Mom and Barb, they greet me, but they don’t rub against me or do those owner and cat things. Dori just stretched and moved because I’ve been staring at him since I started to write.

Mom’s in the hospital. She’s been there since Thursday evening. She was put into the hospital because she acquired pneumonia and she got so weak she could not stand on her own. She still cannot stand on her own. Her nurse is a 38 year old male nurse named Phil who is funny and a straight shooter and really aware of the people under his care. He says that she will probably need to go to a Rehab for a few days, but that she’s fine. She’s smart….. she’s compassionate and her understanding of how to treat other human beings is precise. He saw that in her immediately. That makes me feel OK about leaving her alone tonight. I’ll go back in the morning. Paul and Molly will come to see her tomorrow, Barb will be back tomorrow afternoon and they will probably move her on Monday.

In my experience my Mother is the hub. To remove her may make the wheel fly apart into many directions.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Day 113

I'm going to do this weekend a little differently. At some point during the next 20 hours I will go to Connecticut. So I think I will do this in pieces. I also don't know how direct to be because I don't want people in the family finding things out on the blog instead of in person, so... this maybe disjointed and erratic. Please bare with me this weekend. Times are tough.

I have to do my grateful for activity now, for I am weepy.

I am grateful for my ability to talk about how people feel
I am grateful that I was raised by a woman who embodies tolerance, in a home where tolerance was the expected way of being, whether for each other, for racial difference, religious difference, or food differences, we were expected to understand and accept those differences, support them in each other. I know that her father had expected that of her, too.
I am grateful for all of those museums I was dragged through as a little girl.
I am grateful for the green outside my window this morning.

Halfway through the day and all is quiet and fine. It is perfect out there.

The other end of the day. Had dinner in Brattleboro, good steak, thanks Tristan. It took me out of myself for a few hours, which is a good thing.

I'm going back to counting birds. I saw a black vulture tonight. I saw the Downies, and I heard many different birds who kept their distance from my camera. The sky was a perfect color for bird watching. Made me happy.

Enough for today. I'm off to CT in the early a.m. so I won't be able to post until Sunday night, but I'll do my usual write at Mom's to keep up with it all.