I really do want to try to describe grief, but what is clear to me is that it is easier to describe it when it is in the abstract. When it is concrete it is too close to put into words, well, atleast for me it is. We have not met at writing in three weeks. I haven't had any place to practice, all the writing I've been doing is right here on this blog. That makes it a little more difficult. But I have today and tomorrow left in November and then one more month. I will count down the last 31 days. Anyway, to pull some threads together; 1) the frost was thick this morning when I woke up. By the time I got to work it was cold but it was blue.
By the time I got out of work it was already dusk. Winter is here. We now have 3 - 4 months of white, grey and blue with an occasional pink.
I talked to my brother Paul when I got out of work and he convinced me to go out and seek what light there was left. So I did. Here are the results. These were all taken in Colrain.
That hole I mentioned last night, and a way to fill it without harming oneself, I guess that's a spiritual question and it is that realm that is so personal and not easy to put in this blog, although it is a large part of grief. I hope that by day 365 I state my understanding of the answer to the question, but until then you'll have to think upon the question yourself and mull over the photos and poems; do they give you insight into living with grief?
Yes, they do give me some insight into living with grief. For me it was like a wave: it rolled in regularly, it inundated me, washed over me, rolled me inside it and then spit me out later wet, shaky and numb and then I would recover from that wave and go about my business and think I was back among the living and then another wave would come.
ReplyDelete