Day 15

I wanted to be depressed all day long, but my life would not let me. I mean I'm only working half time and not making ends meet. But I finally got paid for a consulting job I did 2 months ago; I got to pay my heating bill. YES! I jumped in the car to go to the bank, but the views were so interesting I got distracted. It was grey at 11 this morning and a pink haze sat in the horizon, so I decided to find its source and I took a left away from town along the Deerfield River. I took some interesting pictures and the light was so odd that I was learning something when all of a sudden, above a barn flew a giant bird that I thought was an eagle, but couldn't quite tell. I just started shooting it... and sure enough, there was that white head. Oh what a great sight.

Then back to town and errands. Heard some friends are having a baby. Saw a friend I hadn't seen in a really long time and had a really good ham and muenster sandwich.




Then Emma and Diane came to visit me. I never can be depressed when Emma is around, it's too interesting.



See the issue is I am living the topic of this blog, I am finding beauty while I grieve. Tomorrow I go to CT to be with my mother. I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving, it's not good, I need to go down once a week now. But everytime I started to get upset about having to visit my fading mother, something else happened that was beautiful and hopeful. This stubborn streak of hapefulness I inherited directly from my Mother... it is genetic. I learned to look and listen to beautiful things from both my Mother and my Father. They surrounded us kids with beauty and they taught us about beauty. I am stuck with this attitude.




To end the day I went to Thai food with a good friend and to hear good strong folk music song in Greenfield. We went to a Charlie King and friends concert in a church coffee house. It was a benefit for the National Priority Project. The room was filled with old peace activists singing and clapping and swaying. It was full of hope and color and laughter. Juanita Nelson, who is war resister in her late 80s was dancing up a storm with a group of friends. Voices were loud and strong and beautiful. Yep, impossible to be depressed today, believe me, I tried, and I just didn't succeed. Oh well........ If you get a chance to hear Kim and Reggie Harris, take it, they are really great.