Day 290

In April whenever the temperature reached 60, I would do anything to sit outside and read or write and enjoy this beautiful 3 o'clock sun, but today I'm watching it from in doors. Today I am looking at bright bright orange through golden sun from inside my living room and the comfort of my sofa. Why? Probably because of this cold my family, my loving brothers whom I adore, has passed on to me.




I think I have something to write about today, but I don't know with what or what on. I mean I need a new journal, or a new pen, or maybe I should use something else entirely. And then I realize that I don't want to be writing, I want to be showing. I want to tell the story in a new way, but it is even easier to get off topic visually than it is with words. I am immersed in images. Which ones should I use for the purpose I am attending to now?






Geoff and I haven't watched TV in this house since the Winter Olympics. Remember when the little girls were here they dressed the TV up with a mask? I have the strongest desire to watch PBS tonight. I moved to a different room to try to write instead of turning on British sitcoms, which I love, but it's been so nice having photography instead of television I don't want to reintroduce the old habit.





I did get out and walk. The colors today are so October. I don't know whether I ever posted my color poem on this blog. I think I did. But what I started thinking about is the fact that I need to organize and develop my poems from this year. I don't think I've done much work on them at all. I've posted early drafts, but I haven't worked on them much. Friday I printed some off but I haven't gotten to them yet. (The jump of subjects goes from walk, orange, poem, what to do about poetry.)



What a year it has been? I'm not sure I'm very different than I was on January 1st, but I am, I can feel it, and it is beyond being orphaned.




I am grateful for good friends. That has been consistent throughout this project. Patrick introduced a new concept to me this morning. We were talking about the need to be a member of the clan and not just a family. It's an interesting concept. In tribal societies, are there spiritual members of the tribe who stay single, yet attached to everyone? There are, right? The herbalist, the medicine woman..... I think that is what I am.