Day 258

I got up and ran off to a dentist appointment and here was squirrel.



Here is yesterday's writing.

Sept. 14th

The colors are subtle tonight; already a bright half moon stands tall. And clouds that are like globs of pink pudding dot the sky appearing past the angles of brick roves and tree tops. The leaves have begun to change. The green is draining out of them. I find it almost impossible to believe that orange and red, yellows and russet will take green’s place.

I feel the green dripping out of me. I believe the green represents a nearly 40 year professional passion. My desire to teach, my desire to work in the field is gone. It has become the job. I never thought I’d say that. I never thought I’d do more in databases than classrooms, but that has become a truth and although my time with students is the most rewarding, it exhausts me and does not refill the tank.

So what are the deep oranges, the strong reds of my late middle age? What is it I am turning to? Could it be me or could I be turning to me?

The wind has died down; I can still see the bright turquoise of the DiPaolo umbrellas. All of the red is gone from high in the sky. If I walked down to the river I’m sure the sky would be golden. A storm is coming. Geese straight over head, how do they keep their bodies so aligned? It looks unreal from beneath.

Tires rolling on pavement, large car wheels, small baby stroller size, fast bicycle size. Brakes and the wheels of skateboards, shorter and harder in sound go by. A man calls out and a small dog yelps. A tiger cat walks near me not making a single sound while yapping dogs act like guards for their teenage walkers who speak Spanish.

What I know is that I can begin to release what I don’t care for anymore. I can begin to rid myself of the things that keep me from being who I am.